Caturday night is for debauchery and that is exactly what was delivered for my good friend Fernando's bachelor party. Too bad he will not remember most of it. Good for him that for once I do and even have pictures to prove it. The bachelor party was being held at a restaurant called Mustang Grill & Tequilla lounge located on 85th street and 2nd avenue. I arrived late to find that the strippers had already arrived and were writhing on the floor. My inner pervert rejoiced but I was mostly interested in eating since I hadn't eaten all day except for a couple of pints of Guinness which is almost a meal in itself. The only food I found was a handful of fried calamari but no marinara sauce. WTF?! I was a bit ticked off at that and told the dude to get some more grub out soon or else.
I proceeded to get the nourishment I needed by hitting the open bar. I didn't want to go overboard which has been the trend lately so I got some Coronas to start. It was a Mexican food place after all. Tequilla shots followed but it was not enough to convince me that it is way too early for strippers to be here. After all we had until 1AM, by this time it was like 8:30PM and I already missed a good hour of stripper action. I continued to battle with my old foe tequila. I won the battle this time by not letting him do me in. In our lifetime matchups its been Tequilla 17, Malcolm 4. Today was different, I was actually able to hang. Drink count so far 3.
There were 2 sets of 3 strippers. The first batch was pretty wild but they were there so early and I missed out on a lot of the stuff. They did whip out some interesting props. By props of course I mean sex toys, a whole assortment that included, dildos, double dildos, anal beads, and strap ons. We were treated to some good girl on girl action with the bachelor getting the best view of it all. Drink count 5.
As usual they were not cool with taking pictures. We did manage to get a few shots in however. When the strippers left it was back to the sausage party, but by this time the food had arrived. We ate, drank, caught up with some of the people I haven't seen in a while. Drink count 8. Three more strippers were on the way.
It was still early maybe 10PM and we had booked the place until 1 so it looked like I should pace myself with the drinks from here on out. The strippers arrived and performed on top of the bachelor taking full advantage of his inebriated state. He did not last much longer and halfway through the show he had to get up and puke not more than 5 feet from our beloved strippers. What a n00b. His bro and best man took him to the bathroom to help him recover. I would have helped too but I pretty much missed out on the first set of strippers so I had to play catch up. They were actually kind of lame compared to the first set and definitely left earlier than they were supposed to. What a ripoff! More drinks please! Drink count 10. To add insult to injury the open bar was closed. WTF! and they told us our party was over even though we had it booked till 1AM. It was not even midnight and it was done. Best man fucked it up with the choosing of the location and lousy, though raunchy strippers. Hey Xeno, thx 4 da tirdz!
Now this was my first bachelor party of what I'm sure will be many more. This is by default the one to beat, not that that says much.
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